It’s a cold day and I’m in the mood for a cup of soup with a rag tag band of buddies. I begin my textmania, and wait… “What time?” “I’m in.” “Where?” “Will there be dancing boys?” “It’s only noon.” and that was the straightest of text replies.
It was officially a four musk of queers, meeting on the corner of Church and Alexander. It was officially my first escape out of the rabbit hole since the tree came down. This year I decided to stay in for New Year’s Eve with John and eat and drink ourselves into a hibernation celebration!
I decided I would let Kaarlo pick the great eating destination. Of course I feared slightly for my life as I recalled the experience we had the last time he picked the eatery. Feel free to read back, “We dared to celebrate in Murika style!” Now don’t get me wrong. If you want the place for the best martini or the best fermented grapes, Kaarlo is the man but I get scared out of my leotard when Kaarlo says “Hey boys what about…”
We stopped by a tiny little “empty hole” just inside gay town called “Regal On Church” An empty hole on Church St. is unacceptable! Alas, this was the hole of the day. We should have taken our hung over assets to the nearest health clinic but we didn’t. We actually dared to order food.
There wasn’t any atmosphere at all in this Chinese/Asian establishment and between the slamming drums on the muszak of Van Halen and the sour notes of Hilary Duff, we just couldn’t figure out the vibe at all. We ordered large beers, very large beers. The downward dog was becoming more eminent.
After about 25 minutes we were finally approached to order. I bit my tongue because well I was so hungry why not bite ones tongue. Readers, I think you are getting the point! Do I need to go further. I think not as it would only be redundant.
Let me just tell you. The highlight of our meal at The Regal on Church was the very small but scary ass worm found on Billy’s almost empty plate!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
When of course we pointed this out to the manager he went on to tell us……wait for it……..wait for it…….It was a small uncooked shrimp!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LMFHO!!!! and any other letters I can squeeze on this ridiculous article- that should only be seen at the bottom of my tinkled in toilet. Even acknowledging this tired excuse for a restaurant right in the heart of my village is giving it way to much advertisement. So we got the hell out of there. We ordered pitchers at “Play” and played several rounds of big old gay bingo. Where in fact there were no worms to be found!
Impressively enough I still made it home to change the colour of my hair!
I don’t know who owns these rent-able spots but stop kicking the crap out of our village by letting in these 3rd rate mealers! I am serious! It’s no wonder gay down is moving uptown! And I never did get my bowl of soup!!
Regardless: Great Seeing you Derek,Billy and Kaarlo “Next time I pick the restaurant, you can still pick the cocktail!”
If you dare to enter this establishment. It might be advisable to read the following story “How To Eat Fried Worms” by Thomas Rockwell! Go ahead I almost dare you! This is only my experience! Plus in some parts of the world, worms are a delicacy!
1 dry kiss out of 5
Regal On Church St
491 Church St, Toronto On