The Gutter King

Ok hold everything! Well, accept the Santa Claus parade. Which of course is happening today.  I am so excited! This year I am watching from the warmth of my soft leather sofa. It’s on at 4:30 this afternoon. For those of you willing to stand outside for hours and be kicked off business’s property and treated like a loiterer by the owners on that grand holiday trail. I say good luck and it starts at 12:30pm!  Feel free to be late. it never starts on time! Last seasons blog post

Unfortunately there is another hefty fellow in town that isn’t receiving the accolades Mr. Claus receives each year.  In fact he has been asked to stay in a galaxy far far away (Star Wars reference)

I know, I know your wondering why my sudden interest in the “BIG” guy. I wrote about him last week.  Yep, I sure did, in my naïve hope that this political moron would stop sticking his —- (insert any object you wish) in his mouth. But it wasn’t that meat that got him in scalding hot water this week! No, it was that horrific comment he made about how much “Pussy” he can eat at home!!! Now I have four cat’s of my own and I would never, I mean never. think of eating them!

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. He dragged out his poor embarrassed wife to his press meeting where he apologized, yet again, for his crude and indecent behaviour and comments. He never did say he doesn’t eat “Pussy” I called the animal control to see what could be done!

I feel like marching straight up to city hall and relieving Mr. Ford of all his “Princess Points” I could do it to. I am a witch and I will use my voodoo!

I can tell you this when “Blob Ford” made that terrible, terrible comment, every gay man in this fabulous city threw up a little in their own mouth!  And that is very bad for our well polished teeth. I will be sending “The Gutter King” my next dentist bill!

Well kids in a world where you can now say pussy, eat and meat all in the same paragraph to describe your private time with your significant other, at a press conference at Toronto City Hall I am going to stop feeling so bad about farting on the bus.  Why say your sorry hasn’t everyone smoked a little crack now and then?



About Bruce in the City

I have been writing my blog since 2010. I was inspired to do so after enjoying an amazing meal with some friends of mine here in Toronto. I decided to tell everyone about my great night and the fabulous restaurant I went to and shazam my blog was born!
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