Well kids, the boy is back and I’m ready to eat!!!! Having been layed up for several weeks with this damn ankle and now I’m finally out of my birdcage ready to resume my restaurant prowling, friends a gossipping, drinks a drinking and food a consuming! Restaurants look out! Let the truth unfurl!!!
I decided I had to celebrate my return to work/leisure/life with a tremendous meal and what better person to do this with but with my pal of 15 years. We met on the corner of Dundas and Yonge downtown T.O with a scare from a crazy little spiritual walker that waited for just the right moment to yell “Jesus is the only way to salvation!” only fading out at the end once he knew he scared the sin out of us. We laugh hysterically then collected ourselves and off we went.
Where to go for consumption had return to mind as our first priority. We could return to the question of salvation after our gullets got stuffed. We made our way north on Yonge on the east side, passing the lights and glitter of Future Shop, HMV and shops like that and realized we were nowhere near something new with regards to a restaurant. We had done Pickle Barrel before”Yawn”, which was beckoning from the other side of the street. Hmm, where could we go?
Well my pal thought of a great idea? Just passed the spot where Sam the Record Man had once stood for many years on Yonge street, there was a small sushi place called “Murika”. Being a huge fan of sushi what could be better? I was a little nervous however when I noticed the walls on the south side were being held up by 2 by 4’s. We ignored the obvious for hunger and made our way into the restaurant, time forgot!
There was a couple to the left and dim and dank to the right. Why we didn’t run for cover at that moment is beyond me but we let the quiet little person seat us anyway. She sat us conveniently at the window to help in the distraction of ambiance. Let the celebration begin! Ha Ha, all the sushi you can eat. I can taste it now, the salmon, the shrimp, the fish of many colour.
We waited in anticipation of our celebratory dinner and caught up on the gossip of the weeks past. Then we began to take in our environment for the second time since we entered. “Don’t look now but that coffee pot is scaring me.” my friend said with some fear but mostly with, well ya fear. I looked and eyes popping saw the stains of a thousand served coffees! “Oh God look at this place, dirt as far as the eye can see!” I finally said after I picked my jaw up off the floor. The food arrives….. with a grin we thank our server and begin the fear, I mean the joy of eating. “Where’s the fish?” I asked. “Oh hmm ya ah not sure!” my friend answers.
We politely call our server over and inquire. “Oh yes um that’s $16.99 menu.” she says. “Oh where was that menu?” I inquire, hearing about it for the first time. She proceeds to pull it out of her jean pocket. It, sort of looking like a crinkled up phone number for an ex boy friend. “Oh I see, isn’t this a sushi, all you can eat restaurant?” I question. “Yes, next time you order from other menu.” and off she goes.
So we have a quiet chuckle and continue to eat our empty rolls of rice and some under cooked chicken kabobs. I guess it’s pointless to point out at this point that my friends visit to the bathroom was less than pleasurable as he smoked a bong and chatted with the cockroaches. Ok that was an exaggeration, there were no roaches and no bong to be seen.
I would not be doing anyone any justice if this place was not placed on my “Only if you desire Amoebic Dysentery, would you enter.” so I do shout out this warning not to enter this place for any other reason than to celebrate ones ability to possibly fair well on the reality show Survivor.
My celebration back from the lame was a bust but the gossip was good and the pitcher of beer down the street at an Irish pub saved the day and probably saved us from bacterial infection!
We dared to celebrate in “Murika” style and I don’t recommend it!
rated out of 10 I’d give this place a -10.
Until next Sunday remember “Let The Truth Unfurl!”