Have you ever had one of those days that turned out completely different than you planned and anticipated? Brother, that opening was as lame as a high school book report, but nonetheless very fitting considering the day. A day that started out pretty lame.
I decided I was looking for some self time. It’s not always something that’s attainable once you reach the ripe old age of 12. There is something about the time before then, when at least for me, I was encouraged to go play. Go see your friends. Take up a hobby. A parent or guardian’s obligation is to make sure you get out there and get comfortable in your new skin.
All your little friends spend hours talking about nothing really, but it’s so valuable because it becomes the foundation to who you will become.
Suddenly the teen years arrive and everyone seems to want to know what you are doing and who you are doing it with. Curfews become a thing and everything becomes about what you better not do or there will be hell to pay. Mostly for our own good but nonetheless it’s during these years where we hopefully learn what boundaries to set and learn how not to be dependent on others and constantly directed in what to do with your day.
The funny thing is in some cases these pattern don’t always improve like they should. Your time for some reason or another doesn’t really become your own but gets transferred from person to person and relationship to relationship.
This is especially true, you may find, with your career. You work so hard at proving your worth and dependability so much that your personal time takes a back seat for more success mongering for the other guy. Balance would be what I’m getting at here. When you’re a kid you think you have some. When you’re a teen you defiantly lose some and when you are a grown up you most likely gave it up a long time ago.
Ask yourself when was the last time you did something you really wanted to do without someone else getting in the way? More importantly, does your life really reflect what you thought it was going to be back in your adolescents?
Maybe for most of us it doesn’t. I’m not really talking about the career thing. We all know that can end up owning you like some bitch. I’m talking more about the you that is real and deep inside. When you are not working. When you are not with your partner. When you are not entertaining your friends.
Do you walk a path that you do out of expectation of others? Have you become a prisoner inside your own life and you hadn’t even noticed because it happened so slowly.
I ended up at a great restaurant on lower Yonge St. this week and the company I was keeping had me asking this question for myself. I was shocked at the opening question which sort of went like this, “Are you happy with what your life looks like?” A completely innocent questioned asked by people in my age group. I think more often than not because well, let’s face it, we are in our prime right now but feeling a bit like if we are not feeling that great about where we are, then we are running out of some valuable time to make that happen. It’s not a race to the finish line but there should always be a sense of urgency at living your authentic life.
Let’s face it, one can’t stay the hot chick forever! There needs to be some substance to back that up. So I did just that. My friend brought me to a large looking restaurant called Joey’s. A name from English origin meaning “God Will Increase”.
I thought it rather fitting and almost serendipitous considering the introspective discussion we were deep in.
Since I had never been to Joey’s my friend decided to order on our behalf. I hate deciphering a menu believe it or not. It just feels like a supersized grocery store situation and so I was relieved when they took the reins.
We had the stackers, lettuce leaf wrap and the fresh tuna salad. They were so delicious it was very hard not looking like an over achiever in the eating department. The taste was so fresh on the tongue. Each dish was well executed and garnished with flawless precision.
The company was fabulous too. It’s so important to be around people who remind you how fabulous life can be. Thank you my friend. I really loved hanging out with you.
Let’s do it all again soon!
Edited by Mary Ellen Monk
Dedicated to friendship.
A note from the Editor: An interesting question for sure. I’ve realized since having my kids that if I could do it all over again I would be a teacher. But at almost 41 it’s too late to start over so I continue along my path. I have a good life, I’m certainly not complaining but we all have our “what if” questions.