You little addict You. (Finding Sarah) on OWN

Welcome Wednesday readers!  As you know I don’t always write a blog on Wednesday but I was feeling a little chatty this week so here we are.  In case you don’t already know I am or was a fan of the Oprah show and I would tune in a few times a week to see what was going on!

Sadly her show has come to a close and I have to admit, it was moving to see this iconic program become a chapter for the history books (well entertainment history). Although I am sure Oprah will be ordained a Saint at some point.

I missed allot of season 25 simply due to my own busy schedule and I am happily catching up on those thanks to my best pal PVR.  I caught a re-run of an interview Oprah did with Sarah Ferguson “Dutches of York” (the second interview) and finally after all these years and all those shows I finally got my ah ha moment.

I am addicted! Just as Sarah is.  I know your reading this and thinking don’t do it Bruce! Don’t put it out there for all to read! But it’s true and I am not ashamed to admit it!  I am addicted to pleasing people!!

In an earlier blog of mine I wrote about the abuse I had endured in the seventh grade.  Well I think the addiction started there.  Because I was so ostracized from my peer group, I suddenly began trying harder and harder to fit in, to be liked.

Nothing I did ever seem to do the trick.  I made many friends over the years that exploted my energy taking advantage of this weakness or personality flaw (intentional or not).  What a great friend I was to have!  You name it if I could pull it off I would do it for you.  Even if it meant putting you first!  Setting my needs aside to make sure you were constantly being doted over.

In saying this of course I also realise it’s time to take my own responsibility for this flaw.  I think if it wasn’t for the fact I never felt I ever fit in as a kid, I would have never learned to sing and to teach my self how to dance like I did.  I was amazing! I wish I had video!!

I tuned into the new series “Finding Sarah” on Own and it was amazing how much I related to her inner situation!  Her lack of self worth, her feeling of being lost and feeling ugly.  Of course all varying degrees but none the less, I think her journey is a brave one.  She has made some bad choices and so have I in the attempt to be a people pleaser.

Maybe you don’t have this flaw. Maybe it matters little what others think of you but if you can imagine the horror of constantly feeling you just don’t measure up and all your strength is used up everyday trying your hardest to get the attention of a co worker or that one you label a friend believe me it’s an exhausting way to exists.

The challenge is to start letting go of this way of doing things.  You can still love lots and not lose yourself along the way.  You are allowed to say no.  It’s ok to take time for you and to put others needs to the side.  It’s not that you don’t care it’s that you must take care of you first or you end up with an empty emotional cart that can’t help anyone.  You don’t have to please people. It’s not your job. Your job is to fill your life with things and people that add to its beauty not smother it.

Show some compassion give them a call for a change, tell them how much they mean to you and let that person know, they don’t have to try so hard because your not going anywhere!

I’m looking forward to part 2.

www.own.com

This blog is not affiliated to the own network or Oprah Winfrey in any way. These are my own personal opinions and don’t necessarily reflect the opinions of the show.

About Bruce in the City

I have been writing my blog since 2010. I was inspired to do so after enjoying an amazing meal with some friends of mine here in Toronto. I decided to tell everyone about my great night and the fabulous restaurant I went to and shazam my blog was born!
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