Holiday Stories

1st Annual Naked Issue

Posted by Bruce on July 01, 2018
Check it Out!, Holiday Stories, Really?, Try It! / No Comments

Let’s Get Soaking Wet

I’m thrilled to bring to you my first naked edition of Bruce in the City! Now that doesn’t mean we’re all getting naked over here, but this blog is really about taking pride in the beauty of your natural state!
Wonderful and ever perfect nakedness. Every year in Toronto, literally thousands of beautiful people of every shape and colour gather at my favourite watering hole found tucked away in our very own oasis from the noise and crazy of the city. It’s known as Hanlan’s Point. Hanlan’s Point Beach was a traditional site for nude sunbathing for decades.
In 1999, Toronto City Council approved a one-year pilot project for a nude beach at Hanlan’s Point following a proposal by a naturalist organization and Councillor Kyle Rea. In 2000, the council extended the project for another two years. Finally in 2002, the clothing-optional beach was made permanent. Of course the council was met with heavy opposition from who else?… the conservative-councillors such as Giorgio Mammoliti. I just want to know how many friends this person has. I’m serious. Stuff old ideals, this would never be an issue in Europe. Dan sums up Hanlans this way. “Toronto’s own beach getaway that’s right in our backyard that feels like it’s hundreds of miles away. A nice place to spend a summer day hanging out with friends.” It was also an infrequent target of police crackdowns for nude sunbathing. Not to mention the raiding of fellows in the bush who may have been suspected of partaking in a bit of sensual negotiations. With one of the Fords back in the hive, Christ only knows what bullshit he is going to try and pull off in our diverse city. Certainly
In my honest opinion Toronto is only as diverse as you find yourself behaving under the thumb of it’s all too many religious groups. I hate to be a skeptic but I don’t trust this freedom as far as you can throw it. Hanlan’s official status has resulted in a distinct increase in ferry traffic, and fairy traffic it appears, is a profitable component of public and private sector advertising campaigns, since it draws visitors to Toronto. So basically freedom is money! Hence the new pot laws. They finally figured out how they could profit from the plan without the overwhelming backlash from those crusty old conservatives. Police and park officials now work in partnership with the beachgoers to maintain the friendly atmosphere. Well in other words, there are finally enough shootings in the city they can focus on that they can leave the peaceful naked people alone. Where would they pack their gun? Up their bum? In the cleavage? I could probably pack some heat in mine. I’ve got some serious man cleavage at the right angle. So get naked while you can and fight for true freedom not just religious freedom which, basically tries to handcuff all non believers. Clearly I’m over heated! It’s time to chill out, get naked, and I’ll see you and Hanlan’s! By the way it is clothing optional if you are more modest than most and that ok to!  If you happen to see me in all my wonder don’t be shy, come say hi! I’m either under a shade tree or at that fabulous little canteen just outside the beach area. Happy Canada you amazing people! Let’s get soaking wet!

B.I.T.C

A note from the editor

I give you credit, I would never have the confidence to utilize a naked beach. I’ll keep my suit on. LOL.

Mary Ellen Monk

Thank you to everyone who contributed photos for my blog this week. It was super cool of you. Not all photos were taken at Hanlans.

Photos by Instagram followers used with permission.

@jwill_fitness @marcostoro81 @danhoban3 @itsandrewstupid @tenting3 @zerocub  @caltabiano.anthony @jerome_inton

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There will be a draw for a $20 gift card from The Men’s Room! Winner announced Monday!

Sincerely

Bruce

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A Wonder Woman

Posted by Bruce on January 07, 2018
Check it Out!, Customer Service Watchdog, Holiday Stories, Shops / No Comments

I had another blog planned for today but at the last minute I decided to change my mind. I could have gone with my restaurant review but I’m still coming off of my holiday high and before I rip a local eatery a new one, I thought it might be nice to share one good story about outstanding customer service.
You may wonder why customer service is such an important career to me. Well that’s easy, I’ve been in customer service since I was 18 and I have always tried to give the best service I can. I worked for some tough companies that expect the best and I have always delivered. Sometimes to the point of breakdown which, thankfully has only happened twice in my long and distinguished career. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people pleasers that companies burn out because I’m usually always giving way more then my counter part and yet they still push, push, push. Such is the life of an elf but when I actually experience or hear of some wonderful act of customer service I get excited because the art of great customer service is as cold and dead as the Canadian winters.
But just when you think no one cares out there in retail land you come across a shining light that returns hope to the weary shopper.
This happened to my mom this past Christmas season. We have a pretty new tradition that she started only a few short years ago. I love Christmas tree decorations a lot and so my mom, over the years, has bought me some of the cutest decorations I have on my tree. Well this year she had her sights set on a super cute Wonder Woman tree ornament that Hallmark released. I have several from their collection from John. Yes, I’m spoiled. But anyway, this year to my mom’s dismay the ornament box had been damaged and there was no way she would give a gift in a damaged box. It wouldn’t have bothered me but my mom is a stickler for detail and quality so she told Sue, the customer service ambassador at this particular Hallmark, that sadly she wouldn’t be taking the Wonder Woman tree ornament. Well Sue took my mom’s name and number and said leave it with her. Now typically this is the kiss of death because most people would have filed that under “Garbage” and she would have never been heard from again. But you know this Sue called around to other locations until she found that box or a brand new one since this was her last one in shop that she had. And not long before Christmas this real life customer service Wonder Woman called my mom with the great news that my ornament was ready for pick up. Now this may seem like a small thing to do but at Christmas when I got to open that special little box with my mom at my tree side, it was no small moment. That is what Christmas is all about (well aside from baby Jesus). But you know I’ll never forget that Wonder Woman and I hope Hallmark doesn’t forget her either. She really cared and that meant the world to my mom and it meant the world to me.

Thank you Sue!

Always

Bruce in the City

Edited by

Mary Ellen Monk

Bitter Sweet Summer

Posted by Bruce on September 12, 2017
Check it Out!, Holiday Stories, Pubs, Restaurants, Try It! / No Comments

What was that anyway? Was that really summer. My ass it was! I can’t believe that it pretty much rained every God forsaken day in this bloody city. One trip to the beach this year. It couldn’t have happened however at the right time. My good buds came from New Hampshire for a little get away. Or what we Canadians refer to as The Great Escape from The Trumps! I keep asking them to move here but I guess they enjoy the torture. The summer was weird at best but as you may recall from a few blogs back I said don’t rule out summer yet! Well in one week sweep I ended up crushing months of summer fun into 120 hours. It was Summerathon!

My buds arrived last weekend on Air Canada. They upgraded to business class and said the trip was excellent. Apparently there were only two crazy Asians that refused to sit down. How fun is that. Eventually they did and the flight was zipping through the sky.

Since I am “Bruce in the City” they left it in my capable hands to show them the city. Which was actually a little stressful but I had my plans in motion. It was decided that we would surprise a predominant Music Director and Organist in the city up near St Clair York Minister Park Baptist church. Some of the very influential attend that church. It would be very indiscrete of me to name names but anyone hear of Loblaws? Needless to say they weren’t in the house but you could feel their high end aura’s none the less. William Maddox has been ministering through music for many years. I won’t say how many, that would be indiscrete also. Let’s just say it is possible The Beatles hadn’t even gotten together yet. Of course I joke but he’s definitely a sample to an already well known church ministry.

But I’m not in the business to promote local churches. I’ve been burned by too many. But as churches go that’s a pretty good one. William, or to us better known as Bill, was surprised at our arrival and that was very cool indeed. And I never combusted into a ball of flames which was a nice surprise for me too! There were so many gays in attendance I was certain there was going to be a revival. But alas God was gentlemanly to us gaggle of Gays. No wrath. At least not this evening.

Now the real church began shortly after the service was over. I took everyone to one of my favourite watering holes. Drinks all around! I can’t resist nachos with extra everything and they were fabulous! Look it up! Midtown Gastro Pub!!! It’s up St Clair and Yonge. I’m certain I’ve talked about them before. Sadly the server moved at a glacier pace so that was annoying. Especially because the night was getting on and we had other troubles to get ourselves into. Alas is was Sunday night and even in Toronto there isn’t much trouble boys can get into so it ended up being a pretty early eve.

Monday and it was all about Centerville! I hadn’t been there in years and sometimes you’ve just got to give your inner child a much needed therapy session!
It’s a bitter sweet year for Centerville. Toronto had a very strange winter and spring leaving the island flooded for most of the summer season. The island lost millions in revenue so more than just being big silly boys this was really a farewell to one of the oldest carousels. It’s leaving us for the states to help pay for the loss Centerville experienced due to the floods. We all got on and my guests and I took our last trip around the merry go round. The memories of my youth came flooding back to me and I couldn’t help but get choked up at the thought of the loss. It was still just as fun as I remembered!

There was a first for me. I went on the sky ride! Heights and a glacier pace, my two favourite things… Not! But one of my buds talked me into it and off we went. I was doing great until we started going over a river. No one told me there was going to be a river! I just looked at my buddy. He knew he was on my hit list. That little smirk came with a calm “Oh, you’ll be fine.” Fine my ass! But I was and I quickly got over the fear and felt a little sense of achievement. Who knew I’d find that at a kids theme park! You just never know when you are going to get that light bulb moment.

Then I went on this zip around dark room spinning thing and got punched in the face! Life has got that way of keeping pride in check. I went to put my arm around my partner to hold tight and then he went to return the gesture but the speed of the ride pulled his elbow into my nose. All I could say was, “Oh my, you broke my nose”. Was it broken? No, but I got my revenge on the bumper cars! Damn that ride is fun! We all targeted this really cute guy and just rammed him from every direction.

Tuesday was Kensington Market! A wonderfully bohemian part of the city where time has stood still after 1960’s. It’s rich in Hipster culture, great places to eat and close on the cheap. Tie dye is still in fashion and the scent of pot and patchouli fill the air. We decided on Amadeus, a quaint Portuguese restaurant. We had a fabulous wine called Gazella that our server Cassandra suggested. It was divine. The boys found the brand later at the LCBO and brought it over for dinner on the Friday. We had Seafood linguine, Chicken Fettuccini and Chicken Caesar. It was all really tasty. Of course a little bread to start us off is always a welcome addition. And well I got hammered on Portuguese wine! Not a bad afternoon.

I took the next day away from site seeing for self recovery while the boys went off with my partner to Casa Loma. I was beat. I just couldn’t pull myself together. They had a great time though. It’s always a place I recommend. Apparently the organ is getting taken out of there for some political reason. Not getting used? I got the down low on it but I didn’t really listen so I missed the bottom line but it’s sad it is going up the road. Two out of the three fellows are organists so that was of interest to them. I was nursing a hangover.

What better way to celebrate friends but to bring your other friends together. We met up with our city buddies on Thursday and made our way to Bumpkin’s! An incredible restaurant on Gloucester just off the village. I’ve been there a couple of times before and have never been let down. Oysters! Seafood Linguine! Chicken Parmesan! Caesar Salad! All just delicious! I again enjoyed some fabulous wine! As did the others. Then it was off to watch Sausage Party! Our first of a few sausage parties that week! Wink!

I of course put on a wonderful roast dinner Friday evening and enjoyed the company of Maddox along with our guests from across the boarder. A very nice dinner if I do say so myself.

Saturday. Our last night together. Well just say what happens in Toronto stays in Toronto but we all had a marvelous time!

We will miss you guys! Until next year!

B.I.T.C

Edited by Mary Ellen Monk

Photos by Bruce in the City

Sibling Rivalry? Never!

Posted by Bruce on January 10, 2016
Holiday Stories, Really?, Stories / No Comments

Hey Brucesters!  Welcome back.  2016!  Can I get a whoop, whoop?!  It’s really hard to believe and what’s worse is that it’s already the 10th.  The month is practically half over.  Which means I can’t even really say Happy New Year to anyone anymore or they will think I’m ridiculous.  And I wouldn’t want to be ridiculous now would I?

I am going to jump right in to this week’s blog.  The first of 2016 and begin by saying, “How could you do this to me big brother?”  Okay, so just to catch you up on some family politics, I think it’s safe to say I am the favourite son of the three.  It’s true I know,  but I don’t like to say it out loud unless I really have to and I just have to this time because my eldest brother did something this Christmas that is practically unforgivable.

Now I have always prided myself on great gift giving.  I have that “Je ne sais quoi”!
Anyway, I have always bought some of the best gifts for my parents over the holidays and not even the most expensive.  The second eldest of siblings would disagree I am sure and I would probably agree with him but since I AM WRITING THIS FROM MY PERSPECTIVE we’ll say my gifts have always been the better gifts. It’s so great being the master of my own blog!  So let it be written, so let it be done.  Okay, so one too many glasses of wine.  Let’s get back on point.

This blog is not about my middle brother, at least this time.  I can handle the fat wallet gifts.  What my oldest brother did this year is almost unacceptable in sibling rivalries.  He went for pure and utter unadulterated sentimentality this year.  While my other bro and I were out trying to find the coolest of retail splurges, our eldest brother was scheming to meddle his way to the top of the favourite train in one fell swoop.

I got my mom some lovely things as I always do and though I am not sure what my other brother got for Mom, I’m sure it was fabulous.  But my eldest brother, no no no!  Oh yes he did!  Totally and utterly, impossibly, tear jerkily, wonderful!  And I am so beside myself that I never thought of it first.

I went to my parent’s on New Years Day.  Some of you may have already known that if you follow my Twitter or Instagram (shameless plug).  But for those of you who are not in the know, that’s what I was doing.  Ready to enjoy the joy and satisfaction of gifts well given and upstaging my siblings with my big city gifts of grandeur.

Oh but my eldest brother!  He broke the rules of “engiftment”.  I had enjoyed a lovey Chinese Buffet along the outer rim of Peterborough, Ontario.  Well the whole thing is like an outer rim really but this restaurant seemed more on the rim then the others and I was being treated by my mom and pop so who was I to complain? So I didn’t and I’m so happy I didn’t because it was really outstanding.  Believe me I’ve sat down at a very many buffet and this one impressed even my gullet!

But my brother, God love him, had already unleashed his dirty gift giving plot onto my mother and I had no idea.  Oh, but he did.  Oh yes.  He was resting ever so proudly at home, I am most certain, reenacting the moment our mother opened his sentimental seduction.  I am most certain getting the best of every loving tear she had in those wonderful mother eyes of hers.  Not that she didn’t deserve the gift because she certainly did, being one of the best moms in the whole wide world. But it should have been me!  Oh yes, it should have been me.  I have no doubt that my other brother kicked his porcelain duck when he got home too.

As I sat on my mom and dad’s couch after lunch (I’ll get you that restaurant name for next week) and we were about to watch Rudolph’s Shiny New Year, my Mother pulled it out.  It was a simple little box.  A simple hand carved little box.  A hand carved and inscribed little chest of a box that read “100 reason’s why my mom is the best mom on earth”.  Oh come on!!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked at my mother.  Her eyes already watering up.  “Look inside”, she said “Look inside”.  That pink scarf I bought her was starting to feel a little tight around my own tender throat.  “Oh lovely”, I said as I looked at the box.  How wonderful.  I couldn’t really figure out what was coming as I opened the hand carved and etc, etc, box.  100 hand written reason.  Hand written from my own brothers chubby musical fingers.  Hand written reasons from my straight, so straight, and redneck in the nicest way possible, brother!  100 beautifully written and folded moments of his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood and every hilarious and sentimental thought and memory he could possibly fit into that amazing, hand made piece of heartfelt perfection.

I started to read each piece of paper.  Some were so very funny.  Some moved me to tears.  Some made me laugh right out loud.  And I was so jealous in the most beautiful way possible that my incredible brother out “sentimented” me.  I was in shock at every new piece of written memory.  I teared up with my mom and my dad as I read these very true statements of sacrifice, strength, wisdom and love our mother had really shared with us all and that block head of a brother of mine totally nailed it!  I couldn’t have been more proud at that moment to call him my bro.

Of course I will not let him live this down and watch out for next Christmas!  You’ll see I’ll out sentiment you and get back in that top spot for favourite son.  Just wait when the great pumpkin rises out of the the pumpkin patch…… Oh damn, sorry, too many glasses of wine.  And anyway big brother, we both lose this one because we both know who the favourite son is….. that darn middle brother of ours.  He’s the cutest!

Until next Christmas remember this….. “Maybe Christmas he thought doesn’t come from a store.  Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more” Dr. Suess

B.I.T.C
Edited by Mary Ellen Monk

Holy Crap It’s Christmas!

Posted by Bruce on December 25, 2015
Announcements, Check it Out!, Holiday Stories / No Comments

How did this happen?  Christmas came so fast this year, it beat the weather!  In fact this stinking year flew by like one flying over a cuckoo’s nest!  The streets of Toronto finally got bustling long after the holiday season began.  This spring-like weather is just not right.  As I lay out here on the beach in my onesy I reminisce on Christmas past and I don’t think I recall a previous Christmas that rang in with a BBQ steak and sandals right here in T.O!  Come on down and you’ll find me napping under tree 7 on Hanlan’s point!

Seriously though what a year.  I celebrated one fabulous year with my daytime career.  A big shout out to my team there for being so amazing! My partner and I celebrated 10 whole years together.  That’s wild and I was lucky enough to only have one cold for the entire year.  I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.  My blog turned 5!!!  I gained and lost a total of 30 pounds this year so I am right where I started last January.  John and I are about to embark on something pretty intense for us come the new year.  Of course I’ll keep you posted on that.  2015 brought old friends back into my life.  Being a sentimental man, that is the best news ever!  One of them is embarking on a project that I will be sharing with all of you in 2016!  It seems pretty exciting!

I did find some pretty cool places to dine and wine in the city this year and I am looking forward to sharing more amazing places to partake in 2016.  I want to take a moment to thank my Editor Mary Ellen who somehow turns my sloppy spelling, grammar, and punctuation into something lovely that you can all enjoy!!!  Love you Mary Ellen!!

Thanks to all of my readers who have stuck with me even when my blog has gone down for construction or I forgot to pay the bill.  I love writing knowing you are on the other end having a good chuckle and some deep thoughts from time to time.

12369176_10156300548080521_6544091956312326915_nYou know it’s not Bruce in the City if I don’t uncover one sloppy job before year end.  A big shout out to Laird Pet Hospital who has yet to return my call to get my Princess Agnetha groomed so she looks like crap over Christmas!  Your on going horrific customer service never ceases to amaze me!  Merry Christmas!

And now the moment you are hardly waiting for!! My top 5 Canadian’s of 2015

#5 Justin Bieber (Anyone who can face the world after his nads were front and center on the internet gets my vote! There was definitely no reason to say “Sorry”)
#4 Avril Lavigne (Any artist who doesn’t even have to get out of bed and can end up being the most famous Canadian (Pantheon) on the planet has my vote.  Lime disease didn’t stop this icon; I know it’s “Complicated”.  Glad you’re feeling better these days!
#3 Eli Glasner (Not only is he super cute “sadly straight” but his movie reviews are epic and usually right on point!)  I did disagree with you on your Star Wars review but God love ya anyway!  I would actually love to see this man get his own half hour show!!!  Let’s get on it CBC!
#2 Rick Mercer (He is such a funny guy and really down to earth.  He looks fabulous in a towel too as we crossed paths at a local gym one hot summer afternoon. He didn’t notice me at all, “Bitch”.  Just kidding!)
#1 And my number one spot belongs to a man who single handily turned what could have been four more years of fear mongering and dictatorship into Canada the sexy and free!  My hat comes off and more for the man of the year in my book….

Justin Trudeau!

12376134_10156335095270521_7480800387731774661_nSo that’s it kids! Lot’s of love and Christmas cheer to you and yours and thanks again for following me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and of course right here at Bruce in the City “What’s the Buzz?” the blog!

Merry Christmas!

B.I.T.C!

Editor Mary Ellen Monk

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by Bruce on October 12, 2014
Holiday Stories / No Comments

What an outstanding time of year in Toronto.  The Don Valley is a spectacle of colour and worth a glimpse.  Every year John and I take our annual walk the Don Valley trail jaunt to take in the amazing colours of nature before it disappears for another year.
It’s pretty amazing and the perfect excuse to get some much needed exercise.  This year our pup, Agnetha will be joining us. She is our Shitzu and an amazing hiking partner.  Dogs have a way of making it look so easy.  Well they do have four legs!
But I’m not here to talk about dogs legs or chicken legs for that matter.  I’m here to share what’s on the menu for Thanksgiving!!!  Before we head out for our annual walk the Don Valley we need a good feast.  Good times!
I thought it might be nice to share with you our menu made with love by my partner John!
What’s on the Menu?
Cucumber Salad
Tomato Salad
Roasted Turkey with Mrs. Beeton’s Onion and Sage Dressing & Gravy
Orange-Cranberry Sauce
Bavarian Red Cabbage
Mashed Potatoes
Broccoli and Cauliflower Mornay
Carrots and Parsnips in a Honey Butter
Green Beans in Garlic Butter
Apple Pie
Maple Walnut Pie
Outstanding!  If you are interested in any of the recipes please contact me at bruceinthecity@hotmail.com!
Again Happy Thanksgiving!! See you next Sunday!
B.I.T.C (Bruce in the City)

Editor: Mary Ellen Monk
Mrs. Beeton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabella_Beeton

Note from the editor: “Your menu looks fantastic but enough to feed an army!  I can see why you need the Don Valley walk afterwards!” Mary Ellen.

 

 

 

 

Filled, Fit and Fondled

The winter snow was coming down lightly and it wasn’t as cold as it has been.  The winter has been brutal this year.  I don’t recall a winter like this in years.  As a kid it felt like every winter was a blast of Arctic air from November to February.  I read a note that it was colder than Mars the other day.  Crazy!

Regardless I always love the first few days of a new year.  It always feels so hopeful. I suddenly feel like I want to spend time on my own.  After all the hustle and bustle that is the Christmas season it’s fabulous to just disappear and enjoy some much needed quality time with self.

My new year began just as it should with a new hair style, a new pair of boots and a trendy new Sushi buffet!!  I started with the boots. A man has got to have a great pair of boots.  Mine were a sexy brown leather high tie boot by Rockport.  There is an amazing “Rockport” outlet at the East York Town Center.  No one seems to know of this little mall but there are some great deals there.  If you know how to shop.  And Brucesters, I know how to shop!

The second must do is the do!!! I stopped at Afif Hair  Beauty Salon and met a really cool woman there. I asked her what she thought of my Pompadour. And she was actually honest and said it was making me look older than I was. She said you don’t want to look like your over 35 do you? Of course not I said with a wink and a smile. She started her snip snip here and her snip snip there and before I knew it I was Toronto fabulous and trendy once again!

It’s not a day out without a good meal so my first 2014 lunch out came in the form of some raw fish! The restaurant is called Itamae Sushi. It’s brand new! I strolled in from out of the cold with my new Rockports in toe and outstanding new spikes and was quickly seated.

I just love a fabulous Sushi buffet!! It was so clean and inviting. All the girls we so polite and attentive and the menu was a little tablet that you touch the screen to place your order.  So perfect for a man on the go.

Now filled, fit and fondled I think I can truly embrace 2014 with everything I’ve got! I hope your new year is going spectacularly so far and as we ring in the new year let’s spread love, joy, peace and a good make over to as many ugly people as possible!

I just love you all and can’t wait to write for you every Sunday!!!!

Always

B.I.T.C!

East York Town Center, 2-45 Overlea Blvd, Toronto

Itamae Sushi, 747 Don Mills Rd, North York416-422-1860

Afif Salon Hair & Beauty, 2485 Yonge St, Toronto, ON M4P 2H6, 416-488-2161

Good-bye 2013!

Posted by Bruce on December 29, 2013
Holiday Stories, Politics Really? / No Comments

Holy crap! What a week! Where was I? Oh ya, trying to find my way in the ice and snow! I can’t believe the week my city has had. First Rob Ford and then the ice storm of the century. Then more Rob Ford and his bleeding heart. Argh!

I found it so irritating that he found this horrific time for photo ops and instead of calling a state of emergency, Why? Because then he would have to surrender that much desired power to the Deputy Mayor! Dick head! So as the city and surrounding areas froze and continue to freeze their asses off, the Mayor bleeds for us all to get our power back on. It was funny his family was out for one day and he was on the news looking like he lost his most trusted pet.

The other thing that drove me nuts was that all the news and Ford appearances were all like “Get to a shelter near you. Don’t do this and don’t do that!!

PEOPLE, THE POWER IS OFF! THEY ARE NOT GETTING THE MESSAGE! Were the announcements for the benefit of the people with power so it looked like Rob Ford and The Wynn people were getting the job done! Where the freak was that idiot “Dictator” of ours “Harper” I watched the news! Did I miss it?

Still a big shout out to all the folks that came from everywhere to help and continue to help us all out of this Christmas chaos!  Hey maybe if Ford didn’t slash slash slash! We could have helped ourselves but what do I know, the only news I truly enjoy watching is Sue’s Corner cuz “That’s how Sue sees it.”

On the brighter side of the holiday season, this damn year 2013 is finally coming to and end. Allot of good things happened this year……..OK so 2013 is coming to and end and with it, hopefully, an end to the Ford bullshit and an end to personal poverty brought on by my amazing dog Agnetha. Who cost me a small fortune this year. Thankfully she is doing much better!

What else happened! Oh yes the Senate Scandal! That’s all I have to say in regards to that.

We lost some good ones along the way! Corey Monteith, James Gandolfini, Margaret Pellegrini, Roger Ebert and Paul Walker just to name a few.  They will all be missed by the world.

As for me. I think I’m finally going to crawl out of my Torontocoma and see the city on New Year’s Eve.  Maybe I’ll bump into a few of you!

It’s amazing to believe I am going into the fourth year of my blog “Bruce in the City” Have I learned anything? Not really but I have had one hell of a time writing for you all.  I still get a thrill knowing someone out there is reading the stuff I write!

This year I am adding a new header called “Caught in the Act” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going out looking for bad behaviour but if it does cross my path, I’ll be snapping a pic and writing about it on my blog spot!

I wish I had my camera the day that person left her dogs in the snow pile!

Well “Bruceters” Until 2014 have a safe and happy new year!!! I promise to continue to entertain you with my words and this year, I’m planning to get back out, onto that stage again to.  I’m looking forward to this new year. Lord knows 2013 was not a friend of mine!

Hugs and Licks

B.I.T.C

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

“Puppy Pooh Head”

Posted by Bruce on December 15, 2013
Holiday Stories, Really? / No Comments

Oh brothers and sisters I’ve got to tell you!! I wish I had my trusty Sony camera on me the other day! Oh I would have taken myself a few pictures for you all that would have burned your Christmas pudding to a dark charcoal black!

I was out shopping around for some Holiday goodies the other day and you would not imagine what I came across on the street.  Two of the cutest little dogs you could imagine! One was a miniature Collie and the other was a Terrier mix. The were tied up on a fire hydrant! Waiting for their ass hole owner to rescue them off their hell mountain of ice and snow.

Their poor bare paws in the snow, freezing and trying so hard to bury them into themselves as they shook like they were moments away from hyperthermia.

I waited for a moment and searched for my camera. Damn I didn’t have it on me. I would have loved to catch the perpetrator red handed!!! I wasn’t the only person petting and trying their best to warm the two puppy’s.  I thought maybe I should call the Police.

I also thought maybe I could find the jerk and pull their socks off and stuff them in the snow for 45 min to see how their feet felt.

I decided to try the store closest to the freezing canines.  I walked in a decided to make myself known. “Anyone in here own those two freezing dogs on the sidewalk, tied to the fire hydrant??” No one answered me so I tried again! I called out to a lady that was working. “Can you please make an announcement so we can find who owns the dogs tied up outside! Freezing in the snow bank outside your store?”

She all but ignored me so I decided to try another tactic. I raised my voice just enough to be clear but not scare anyone shopping and I exclaimed “I am about to call the animal control and the police as someone has left their two little dogs tied to a fire hydrant in an ice and snow bank. Does anyone own them in here?”

Well sure enough and young person spoke up and actually said to me “Their mine I have only been in here 45 minutes. They are warm.” Well I said How about we take your socks off and place you in the snow bank for 45 minutes and see how your toes feel! Go rescue them now or I will be calling the Police.

The idiot still took their sweet time to buy their soft pillows before leaving the store. I waited with several people for the perpetrator to come get the pups!

I had a little doggie fan club going by this point and she exited the store with sneers and much deserved hiss’s.

I am sure she was nice enough and I do wish her a Merry Christmas or whatever it is she celebrates but hopefully by forcing her to see reason her dogs will never be treated like accessories again!

I still can’t believe I saw this. I do hope I can find a little more then this to represent the Christmas spirit here in Toronto.

Let’s be very clear about of couple of facts.  Animals and Children left in the cold or in hot cars is the most ridiculously cruel and stupid things for any human to do. For Gods sakes we have survived the passing of time surely we are smarter and better than this!

Next time I won’t just be writing about you “Puppy Pooh Head” I will be posting your photo to!

Hmmm!

That gives me an idea!

B.I.T.C

Oh my only one more weekend to Christmas!

Give Joy!

B.

 

The Gutter King

Ok hold everything! Well, accept the Santa Claus parade. Which of course is happening today.  I am so excited! This year I am watching from the warmth of my soft leather sofa. It’s on at 4:30 this afternoon. For those of you willing to stand outside for hours and be kicked off business’s property and treated like a loiterer by the owners on that grand holiday trail. I say good luck and it starts at 12:30pm!  Feel free to be late. it never starts on time! Last seasons blog post https://bwcmanagement.com/2012/11/19/thanks-canadian-opera-company-there-was-no-santa-clause/

Unfortunately there is another hefty fellow in town that isn’t receiving the accolades Mr. Claus receives each year.  In fact he has been asked to stay in a galaxy far far away (Star Wars reference)

I know, I know your wondering why my sudden interest in the “BIG” guy. I wrote about him last week.  Yep, I sure did, in my naïve hope that this political moron would stop sticking his —- (insert any object you wish) in his mouth. But it wasn’t that meat that got him in scalding hot water this week! No, it was that horrific comment he made about how much “Pussy” he can eat at home!!! Now I have four cat’s of my own and I would never, I mean never. think of eating them!

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. He dragged out his poor embarrassed wife to his press meeting where he apologized, yet again, for his crude and indecent behaviour and comments. He never did say he doesn’t eat “Pussy” I called the animal control to see what could be done!

I feel like marching straight up to city hall and relieving Mr. Ford of all his “Princess Points” I could do it to. I am a witch and I will use my voodoo!

I can tell you this when “Blob Ford” made that terrible, terrible comment, every gay man in this fabulous city threw up a little in their own mouth!  And that is very bad for our well polished teeth. I will be sending “The Gutter King” my next dentist bill!

Well kids in a world where you can now say pussy, eat and meat all in the same paragraph to describe your private time with your significant other, at a press conference at Toronto City Hall I am going to stop feeling so bad about farting on the bus.  Why say your sorry hasn’t everyone smoked a little crack now and then?

B.I.T.C

 

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