Another Birthday is upon me. It’s so strange when I think how amazingly quick the years roll by. Look at my blog for example. I have been writing this thing since 2010. 2010! It’s seems like a lifetime ago. It’s only four years but so much has changed in my life.
I met my partner in that time. I have had a great friendship end, sadly, and my career has taken many leaps and bounds. Can you imagine then as I look back on 43 years of living how one might feel.
Of course the first five are a miss but not long after that my mind has kept a running log of all the experiences that have happened in my life. Some have been wonderful and some unfortunatly have been terrible and have shaped some of those terrible behaviours we tend to carry around with us, day in and day out.
I’m not sure we ever get to heal all that stuff but we can decide whether or not it is going to shape who we are today. I think for the most part I’m happy with my life but when I think about what I don’t really like, I can’t help but wonder “What have I done about it to change it?”
Let me just declare what I don’t like out loud and maybe that can kick start me into Making my 44th year about changing the things that I can control and forgetting about the crap I can’t. My plate would certainly feel alot lighter.
So, My Birthday is Tuesday and I could take it as a reminder of the years that got away or I could see it as a way of starting over. When you are a kid your Birthday is such a big deal. Your Mom or Dad or both or some Guardian puts together a fabulous day for you. All your friends come over and bring you cards and gifts and everyone seems excited for you as they watch you blow out your candles and open your gifts. Of course you always have that one kid that wants your gifts and cries because they feel left out so they get an extra piece of cake.
The truth of it is there will always be that kid. They can come in many forms. Maybe an acquaintance that seems like a friend but doesn’t really have your best interest at heart. Maybe it’s a partner that never seems to find you good enough. Maybe it’s a parent that raised you to know fear instead of the feeling of freedom. There are many people that come in and out of your life that really have no other plan then to help you feel defeated.
Believe me I have gone through my share of those. Can you remember your first relationship disapointment? I can. If you can believe it! It was in grade school and my best friend from Kindergarten was David. I just loved him. He was my best friend. At least until we got to grade 5. Then suddenly I wasn’t cool enough for him and he chose to play with Ronnie. A new kid at school.
I was just a kid but these life experiences change you ever so slightly. I bumped into that David many years later and even then he didn’t seem to want to know me. It drove me nuts because who wouldn’t want to know me. Everyone wants to know me! But it’s an amazing lesson. Don’t bother trying to change what you have no control over.
Celebrate who you are everyday because guess what? You are all you have. Even when sorrounded with the best of friends and the loveliest of relationships, even still, don’t lose yourself in the joy or in the noise because the years will fly by and in the end You are all you’ve got! It’s not sad. It’s just the truth! xo