Hey Brucesters! Welcome back. 2016! Can I get a whoop, whoop?! It’s really hard to believe and what’s worse is that it’s already the 10th. The month is practically half over. Which means I can’t even really say Happy New Year to anyone anymore or they will think I’m ridiculous. And I wouldn’t want to be ridiculous now would I?
I am going to jump right in to this week’s blog. The first of 2016 and begin by saying, “How could you do this to me big brother?” Okay, so just to catch you up on some family politics, I think it’s safe to say I am the favourite son of the three. It’s true I know, but I don’t like to say it out loud unless I really have to and I just have to this time because my eldest brother did something this Christmas that is practically unforgivable.
Now I have always prided myself on great gift giving. I have that “Je ne sais quoi”!
Anyway, I have always bought some of the best gifts for my parents over the holidays and not even the most expensive. The second eldest of siblings would disagree I am sure and I would probably agree with him but since I AM WRITING THIS FROM MY PERSPECTIVE we’ll say my gifts have always been the better gifts. It’s so great being the master of my own blog! So let it be written, so let it be done. Okay, so one too many glasses of wine. Let’s get back on point.
This blog is not about my middle brother, at least this time. I can handle the fat wallet gifts. What my oldest brother did this year is almost unacceptable in sibling rivalries. He went for pure and utter unadulterated sentimentality this year. While my other bro and I were out trying to find the coolest of retail splurges, our eldest brother was scheming to meddle his way to the top of the favourite train in one fell swoop.
I got my mom some lovely things as I always do and though I am not sure what my other brother got for Mom, I’m sure it was fabulous. But my eldest brother, no no no! Oh yes he did! Totally and utterly, impossibly, tear jerkily, wonderful! And I am so beside myself that I never thought of it first.
I went to my parent’s on New Years Day. Some of you may have already known that if you follow my Twitter or Instagram (shameless plug). But for those of you who are not in the know, that’s what I was doing. Ready to enjoy the joy and satisfaction of gifts well given and upstaging my siblings with my big city gifts of grandeur.
Oh but my eldest brother! He broke the rules of “engiftment”. I had enjoyed a lovey Chinese Buffet along the outer rim of Peterborough, Ontario. Well the whole thing is like an outer rim really but this restaurant seemed more on the rim then the others and I was being treated by my mom and pop so who was I to complain? So I didn’t and I’m so happy I didn’t because it was really outstanding. Believe me I’ve sat down at a very many buffet and this one impressed even my gullet!
But my brother, God love him, had already unleashed his dirty gift giving plot onto my mother and I had no idea. Oh, but he did. Oh yes. He was resting ever so proudly at home, I am most certain, reenacting the moment our mother opened his sentimental seduction. I am most certain getting the best of every loving tear she had in those wonderful mother eyes of hers. Not that she didn’t deserve the gift because she certainly did, being one of the best moms in the whole wide world. But it should have been me! Oh yes, it should have been me. I have no doubt that my other brother kicked his porcelain duck when he got home too.
As I sat on my mom and dad’s couch after lunch (I’ll get you that restaurant name for next week) and we were about to watch Rudolph’s Shiny New Year, my Mother pulled it out. It was a simple little box. A simple hand carved little box. A hand carved and inscribed little chest of a box that read “100 reason’s why my mom is the best mom on earth”. Oh come on!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked at my mother. Her eyes already watering up. “Look inside”, she said “Look inside”. That pink scarf I bought her was starting to feel a little tight around my own tender throat. “Oh lovely”, I said as I looked at the box. How wonderful. I couldn’t really figure out what was coming as I opened the hand carved and etc, etc, box. 100 hand written reason. Hand written from my own brothers chubby musical fingers. Hand written reasons from my straight, so straight, and redneck in the nicest way possible, brother! 100 beautifully written and folded moments of his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood and every hilarious and sentimental thought and memory he could possibly fit into that amazing, hand made piece of heartfelt perfection.
I started to read each piece of paper. Some were so very funny. Some moved me to tears. Some made me laugh right out loud. And I was so jealous in the most beautiful way possible that my incredible brother out “sentimented” me. I was in shock at every new piece of written memory. I teared up with my mom and my dad as I read these very true statements of sacrifice, strength, wisdom and love our mother had really shared with us all and that block head of a brother of mine totally nailed it! I couldn’t have been more proud at that moment to call him my bro.
Of course I will not let him live this down and watch out for next Christmas! You’ll see I’ll out sentiment you and get back in that top spot for favourite son. Just wait when the great pumpkin rises out of the the pumpkin patch…… Oh damn, sorry, too many glasses of wine. And anyway big brother, we both lose this one because we both know who the favourite son is….. that darn middle brother of ours. He’s the cutest!
Until next Christmas remember this….. “Maybe Christmas he thought doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more” Dr. Suess
Edited by Mary Ellen Monk